Article posted on September 2023

On November 1, 2016, I wrote a blog about an interesting article that I had read titled “A Word Fitly Spoken & in Due Season is Like Apples of Gold in Setting of Silver”. This is found in Proverbs 25:11 which reads “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold In settings of silver. Like an earring of gold an ornament of fine gold. Is a wise rebuker to an obedient ear. “The article talked about how important it is to be careful of how you use your words. Let your words bring blessings and empowerment. Words do matter so be careful how you use your words. They can build or tear a person down. They can impart wisdom or bring shame. They can deliver encouragement or deflate the spirit. Words can be a weapon or healing balm. A welcome sound or dreaded racket. And words can even change the world, create peace or rage war. (1)

In this world of political correctness, we have forgotten that words speak, truth, lies or bring curse. My encouragement to everyone is to speak in love…speak in light…speak in truth… if you are not sure about a person or perhaps someone comes to you to fill your ears about all the wrongs about this person. Notice, reflect and use discernment to evaluate who is the source bringing judgement about this person, what is there motive, and hidden agenda as to why they speak words of untruths… We are all sinners, and all have in one way, or another to speak words out of content to our friends, children, loved ones, co-workers and/or our significant other (husband) if you have one. 

In Ephesians 4:31-32. God encourages us to lay aside our bitterness and practice forgiveness “you must remove all bitterness, rage, anger, threats, insults, with all malice. You must practice being kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has graciously forgiven you. In Colossian 3:12-14 “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put-on love, which binds together in perfect harmony.”

In a quote written by Hugo Black, it shows how we are responsible for our lack thereof of accountability and forgiveness as believers of Christ. The quote goes like this… “We have cause to suspect our religion if it does not makes us gentle, forbearing, and forgiving; if the love of our Lord does not so flood our hearts as to wrath.” If a man is nursing anger, if he is letting his mind become a nest of foul passions, malice, hatred, and evil wishing, how dwelleth the love of God in him? (2)

Therefore, we are responsible for any bitterness that we may be harboring in our heart, and this is personal. Proverbs 14:10 states “Each heart knows its own bitterness,” we often fall short of being accountable to our own root of bitterness and hoping it goes away on its own, but God calls us out to take responsibility and own our part of it. it’s not until we do that that we learn our lesson, heal and start to see others with the lens of love. So, whether It is a stranger, loved one, children, husband or significant other, we must use words of love.

So going back to this amazing article the writer recommends these five powerful phrases to use with words that can bless and bring clarity in any relationship. Article 5 Powerful phrases-Words to Uplift and Encourage” received via Faith. Full ([email protected]) (3)

1. The first one is Five powerful phrases to speak to your spouse as sometimes we don’t know what exactly to say or how to exactly respond to your husband that will incite comfort and a positive response back.

I trust your judgement.

I am glad I married you

Here is what I appreciate the most about you

I am with you

Being your wife has taught me

2. The second one is Five powerful phrases to speak to your child. Again, as parent we are to speak life to our children and one way we can do this by speaking positive words to them that will help them stay motivated, feel supportive and encouraged.

You can do it

A happy memory I have of you when you were younger is.

I am confident you make good choices

Being your mom has taught me

God has an amazing life planned for you

3. Five powerful phrases to speak to your parents, sometimes we fail to show appreciation for our parents, and we just don’t know what to say to them. Here are some powerful statement that you can say to them.

I am not sure if have ever told you before,

But I thank you for….

A wonderful memory I have from my childhood is….

I admire your strength
How can I help you?

I am proud of you…

4. The third one is Five powerful phrases to speak to your friend. Sometimes in friendship we fail to reciprocate back the support or encouragement that the friend has provides to you.

My favorite thing about our friendship is

The best time I have ever had with you was..

When…

I am with you all the way

The character quality I most admire in you is…

You remind me of Jesus when you….

Lastly, communication is so important in any relationship and too often we find ourselves communicating as less and less as possible. More so, in families and marriages in which technology has taken the place of communication as a result couples do not share, or you use words of communication that enhances the relationship instead due to the constraints of work-related stress, and pressures; couples become defensive of each other. Lois Wyse, in her special book of poems called love talk, put it most dramatically. This an excerpt of the poem “So many television marriages that play out of lives against a background of the tube. Instead of two lives filling the room, there are their two lives and the eleven O’clock news with constant commercial interruption. Instead of what you say and what I say. It is what Derek and Johnny and their guest say. I don’t laugh with you. All the wit comes pouring out of the tube. As we laugh at it together. The more we avoid talking. The more passive the relationship becomes. Television permits us to walk through life with minor speaking parts and the more we fail to speak, the more difficult speaking becomes (1) Many relationships quality time has become watching television together as opposed to doing something collectively together that they can talk with each other and cohesively enjoy each’s other company.

Resources:

1. Leo F. Buscaglia, Ph.D., Loving Each Other: The Challenge of Human Relationships; Chapter Loving Each Other Through Communication. Published by Ballantine Books, 1984 (pages 58-59).

2. Hugo, Black, retrieved on 11/6/2023 from www.goodreads.com

3. Five powerful phrases: (Excerpted from Keep it Shut: What to Say, How to Say it, and When to Say Nothing at All by Karen Ehman)

4. Article 5 Powerful phrases-Words to Uplift and Encourage” received via Faith. Full ([email protected])